Forty years ago this week, I pulled out of my parents’ driveway in Ohio and headed east into Pennsylvania. All of my limited possessions were loaded in my car and my friend’s pickup truck. I would settle into a 10×50 foot mobile home in a small trailer court in north central Pennsylvania and begin my ministry journey as a youth pastor at a small country church.
A lot has happened in the subsequent forty years of C&MA ministry. We have served at three churches and two district offices. I got married and we welcomed two wonderful daughters. I swore I’d be a youth pastor until I retired. Famous last words. I was sure I’d never be a senior pastor. I eventually was exactly that and it was at my home church. I absolutely would never work at a denominational office. Only weird people do that! Guess I’m weirder than most.
As I sat on a couch while away on a prayer retreat this week, I reflected on those 40 years. What are some lessons learned in forty years of ministry? Here is some of what I have gleaned so far (40 for forty years):
- Presence matters – big time. Zoom and phones and emails and letters (remember them?) are fine. But nothing beats presence.
- Ask questions first.
- Ask more; tell less.
- Give God time – He does the slow cooker of ministry quite well.
- There are multiple sides to every story.
- Don’t lay your cards on the table too quickly.
- People and situations are massively complex. Simplistic answers and platitudes won’t cut it.
- Most people aren’t as good as they may appear or as bad as you may think they are.
- Hit “pause” before criticizing.
- I know less than I used to think I knew.
- Wise ministry is more important than information expertise. The fire hose of information in our current, electronic world can drown us (even if the data is good and true). I need to keep my face out of the full stream.
- Be the non-anxious presence. Anxiety is contagious; so is peace and calm.
- “Legacy is not what you accomplish but what others accomplish because of you.”
- “Train them so that they can leave; treat them so that they don’t want to.”
- “For lack of vision, people find another parish.”
- Many people aren’t apathetic so much as they are uninspired. It is the responsibility of leadership to motivate, energize, cast vision, and instill passion.
- The pull toward self-reliance never goes away.
- Any of us could fall – at any time – for many reasons. It is not a minor thing to finish well.
- Time away to retreat and listen is critical.
- I am not as good as my accolades say nor as bad as my critics charge.
- I am His – it matters most.
- I have never ‘seen it all’.
- No two circumstances or people are exactly the same. So I should never assume to handle two situations identically. I need to inquire of God.
- I cannot lead well if I am not a person of the Voice.
- I must always be a learner.
- My team needs and deserves my time and attention no matter how busy I am with other things.
- In general, the best indicator of future success and effectiveness is past success and effectiveness. There are exceptions, but not many.
- If I preach and teach so that a middle schooler will pay attention and stay engaged, then everyone will pay attention and stay engaged.
- Being friendly and being engaging are not the same thing. Most church people are friendly but not engaging. We need to train them to be engaging.
- God still does miracles. He loves to flash the supernatural.
- It pays to watch carefully for Abba’s fingerprints on the things happening around me.
- We won’t know what decisions, actions, or situations are of greatest import or impact until well afterward (maybe after our time is done).
- My “calling” is to obedience, not a vocation or a role or a title.
- People, including me, are selective in their memories. Write out summaries promptly after important meetings and decisions.
- The “hills to die on” are a lot less than I thought forty years ago.
- We all have a shelf life; it’s okay.
- “He must increase; I must decrease.”
- God’s definition of success is different than mine. His is right but it has been hard to let go of mine.
- No Holy Spirit means no eternal impact. Knowing the Holy Spirit opens vistas of impact and influence.
- After 40 years I find, as so many others have, that people matter most. They fill my memories; they lift my heart. I pray I never stop loving people (but they can be exhausting 😊).
Do you have some to add? I’d love to hear them. Do you want to discuss one or more? Please reach out. [email protected].
Jeff