By Jeff Miller, OVD District Superintendent
It happens sometimes when least expected. I have just been sitting and minding my own business. It is time to move along. I stand, step, and nearly collapse. Why? My leg has gone numb. It is lost somewhere between the twilight of no feeling whatsoever and that obnoxious pins-and-needles tingly feeling; and my leg won’t respond to commands; and it won’t bear my weight; and it just fully goes on strike with no warning or negotiation. I end up on the floor or staggering around or grasping for something firm to hang onto.
A friend recently raised the issue of numbness in our lives, and it got me thinking—not so much about numbness of my body but of my heart and mind. So much is broken in this world. Sometimes I just do not really know how to feel and respond. It seems so overwhelming. I slip into numbness.
Of course, there is no simple answer for this. In this fallen world, there is way more pain and hurt than any mind can get its head around, more than any heart can fully care for. But I don’t want to just isolate myself or hide from the realities or become numb to the needs around me—needs that Abba may well want for me to wade into with help, love, concern and rescue.
What I do know is that numbness in my leg is due to a lack of blood flow. Pinch off the blood and soon there are tingles that warn of something unhealthy. Ignore the warnings and eventually numbness sets in. At some point, we may not even really know that we are numb—until we try to step forward and make a difference.
It is a reminder of my need for intimacy with Jesus. It is the flow of His blood in my life that keeps me steady, alert, able to spring into action, balanced in perspective. When I neglect it, the numbness begins to set in. I cannot carry the cares of all the hurt and pain and brokenness around me. But “Christ in me, the hope of glory” can indeed carry the load and give me strength to step out when and where needed (and as directed by the Spirit).
I cannot hold up the weight of all the world’s burdens on my own. But Jesus in me keeps my heart tender, His lifeblood flowing, and my limbs ready to move as directed. Left to myself I become numb and wobbly. It is worth guarding our intimacy with the Lord.